Me: Why is there a hand axe on the chest of drawers in the bedroom?
B: I used it to reattach the Marital Aid* to the wall when it fell off. I thought that the rubber mallet would bounce off too much and it would mess up the rawl plugs.
Me: < no words >
* Handmade by a Very Clever With Wood friend, in order to save our marriage, so that B has somewhere to hang his clothes up other than the bedroom floor.