Wednesday, 26 August 2009

doom ...

So, today B and I braced ourselves and entered The Room Of Doom.

It turns out that because of all the sterling work that our friend and I did in there a few months ago, it was MUCH less doom-laden than we expected. We now have eight bin-bags and about the same number of two foot by eighteen-inch by eighteen-inch boxes stacked outside waiting to go to the tip; and a boot-load of things for the charity shop. There are two or three more boxes to go through, mostly of things that need to be divided in to charity shop / keep categories; and a cabinet full of old business stuff that needs a little more filtering; but we are pretty much there.

Also, the books are all boxed up.

We SO rock.

On Monday, B's mother and father turned up and removed our spare bed. At least, we thought it was our spare bed, because when we offered to pay them for it last year, they said that they didn't want to take our money. However, it turns out to have actually been THEIR spare bed all the time; and therefore they arrived to remove it in a van. They also returned Sister Natalie's A0 drawing board that has been living at their house, apparently causing them much dudgeon. But they omitted to bring back the cot, the changing table and the high-chair that I had bought on eBay for the children to use when they were at their house, that I had asked them to bring so that the daughter of a friend of ours could have them.

It was most peculiar. We had been supposed to meet them at a farm park on Sunday so that they could spend some time with the children. But because they wanted to come down with a van and move furniture, we suggested that they took them both for a walk in the pram then, instead, rather than us losing two days of packing time. But they only stayed for fifteen minutes and were really peculiar all the time they were here. We are both pretty fed up with the whole thing. B's mother is pushing for both of them to go down and stay in Somerset to spend time with the children when I am visiting B in France mid-theatre-tour in September. How is that going to work, if they aren't prepared to spend half an hour with them in our company when they have the chance?

It's all very tedious.

B has just returned from taking the kids for a walk to get them out of my hair - bad period today. Time to launch in to tea-and-bedtime.

And that is all.


  1. Well done on the room.

    I really don't see why B's parents think they have any right to a relationship with the children when they can't even manage to be civil to you. I wouldn't allow it, not while the children are so young.

  2. Go you!!! Packing everything up is just hideous so you deserve a big pat on the back for getting all that done!! Oh, and a really large glass of wine (or two!!).

    I just don't understand why B's Mum and Dad are being so bloody difficult!! You are being more than fair with them and it's almost like they are throwing it back in your face....very very odd!!

    Keep your chin up

    C x

  3. You do so rock, well done.

    I'd try to withdraw feelings of emotion and retaliation, which doesn't mean I'd let myself be bullied (I'm old and have been through a lot of emotional blackmail, which means I've learned to deal with it). That is, never mind them behaving like small-minded fools, what is the result you'd like?

    The first thing that occurs to me is that your mother and possible Natalie might want to have some precious time alone with the children themselves rather than have them monopolised by their other grandparents. I'd be wary of leaving your mum alone with B's parents for long in case they upset her.

    On the other hand, if you want, in the long term, to have peace in the family and for your two to have a relationship with their paternal grandparents (this would be big-minded and kind of you in the circs, don't blame you if it''s too early to contemplate it) you may choose to make some concessions and say they can come, at least part of the time. If you agree, I suppose they'd stay in a B&B? - you book it, and if you decide it's to be for, say, a week, let it be the end of your absence, so that they can't extend their stay once they've arrived and you're not there to send them packing.

    If it were me, I'd ask mother's advice and for her feelings on the matter, since she'll have to deal with them most. She may be a bit anxious about coping with the children, or she may be vastly looking forward to it.

  4. Is only spending 15 minutes with your inlaws really so bad?? ;-)

    Mine have been in town for the week, and I only got to see them for dinner last night! They're off to Portland today, and will be gone all weekend. Hhhhmmm.. Not sure whether to feel insulted or relieved! lol

    I'm on the move too this weekend. Don't remember how much I have shared, but Robert and I are going through a 'transition' and I have my own place now. It's all good, I think we both need a little space and independence after 9 years. I'm taking him far less for granted lately. That's a good thing.

  5. well done on the room, families are flipping odd

  6. Ah well better late than never. I followed your blog some time ago. I had a 'sabatical' for 18 months, it is nice to have found you again. I obviously need to catch up on events, as things appear to be moving along.