Thursday, 16 April 2009

validation please

I seem to be either a whirlwind of efficency or a bit of a blob at the moment. I'm finding some stuff really hard to do - keeping on top of the washing is still a big thing, despite taking Z's advice and downgrading my standards slightly!

But in chicken and garden world we have two broodies who are fostering fifteen chicks between them; we have sorted out the chicken pen so that fewer hens manage to escape and come round and sit on the doorstep - it's charming, but it means that one needs to navigate an ocean of chicken poo before getting in through the front door - and I seem to be forever chasing them off the sofa when the door is open in warm weather.

We have repaired the chicken house window, finally - it got broken in the move and has had an old plastic feed bag tacked over it all winter. Now they have two lovely clean windows to look out of; and some guttering to keep the rain off the house. We have laid out and started digging over a couple of veg beds and I have started peas, courgettes, squash and french beans in some pots.

Our planning meeting in Somerset went relatively well - the feeling from the planning officer was that a strawbale extension to the existing house would be perfectly acceptable. However, Ma isn't comfortable with us taking down the barn and being so close to her - she would rather we were a separate unit away from the main house. And Sister Natalie seems to have some issues about us being there at all which I just can't cope with at the moment. So we have decided to let things lie for a bit. We like it here very much and have space to do all the things that we want to do for now. So provided our landlady is happy, we will go for a longer lease when it comes up for renewal at the end of the summer.

On the down side, although the anti-depressants being doubled has helped me a lot, I am still prone to getting very stressed about things. I think this is partly due to lack of sleep. We had a dreadful week last week, with both children waking up alternately for about five nights in a row. Last Friday we ran the red flag up the flag pole to Ma and Leo went to stay with her on Saturday. We are picking him up again tomorrow and it sounds like they have all been having a really nice time. So have we - we've seen a few friends and put some sleep back in the sleep-bank.

B's mother, Kate, has been looming on the horizon again. This time I have tried to nip things in the bud before they spiralled out of control. When we met Ma on Saturday to hand Leo over, she presented me with a card from Kate that wished her a happy Easter and asked Ma to phone her as 'No-one else ever tells me anything!'. Ma said "What should I do about this?" and spent quite a lot of time agonising over it to us. It made me very, very angry and also raised the spectre of last year, when Kate was hassling Ma about what a bitch I was, whilst we were all trying to take care of Dad as he was dying. So, yesterday morning, I wrote her an email, with B's consent, telling her to leave my mother alone and not to try to bully us in to getting in touch with her. It was very straightforward and didn't pull any punches. Yesterday night we got a phone call from a friend, saying that B's father had just phoned, to ask if they could pass on a message to B to phone him. B did - and they have arranged to meet next week for a cup of coffee to talk things over.

I think this is a good thing. But I also feel dreadful about it - as if Kate and Vic are going to be telling B what a horrible person I am. They seem to think that I am lazy - that getting depressed and not being able to do stuff equates with laziness. I just want a quiet life and not be bullied. But hey ho ... we'll see what happens.

In other news, both children are fine, apart from the expected 'poking pencils up each other's noses' behaviour, which whilst hair-raising is completely normal. Eleanor can sit up by herself now, more or less. And if you help her balance, can stand. I suspect she is going to be mobile a lot earlier than Leo was.

Right, I need to get on and attend to babies and chickens. More soon. I am going to get back in to the habit of blogging more often now I am feeling better and we are doing more interesting things again - I don't want to be simply a mommy-blog.

For today, that is all.


13 comments:

  1. The laundry gets done eventually. Don't stress about it. And Kate will never change. So you just have to not let her ruin your day. If she wants to be an unhappy shrew, thats her problem.Stop over at my blog. I have awarded you the Zombie Chicken.

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  2. The laundry gets done eventually. Don't stress about it. And Kate will never change. So you just have to not let her ruin your day. If she wants to be an unhappy shrew, thats her problem.Stop over at my blog. I have awarded you the Zombie Chicken.

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  3. Fuck the washing - sit in the sunshine and think whatsit thoughts. Zen. That's the word I'm fumbling for. Zen-like thoughts.

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  4. Fuck the washing - sit in the sunshine and think whatsit thoughts. Zen. That's the word I'm fumbling for. Zen-like thoughts.

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  5. Validation - hell yes, darling. I think you're doing fantastically well.

    Kate is learning, somewhat - at least she wrote and asked for a phone call and then left a message. Far better for B to see them - I think you can rely on him to stick up for you if necessary, and it may not be - they may well be desperate for contact with their grandchildren and it may be possible to mend fences in a way you are comfortable with.

    Natalie has lost her father too, you're all still in grief and mourning. Letting things lie is always a good thing for a while. In the long run, a separate house would be good (the site you described once sounds idyllic) but the if odds aren't favourable for planning, compromises are necessary. In the meantime, your landlady is lucky to have you to take care of her house.

    Stress is normal. You're coping and enjoying life when it isn't biting you on the bum. Dew yew keep a-troshin' gal, as we say in our impenetrable Norfolk.

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  6. Validation - hell yes, darling. I think you're doing fantastically well.

    Kate is learning, somewhat - at least she wrote and asked for a phone call and then left a message. Far better for B to see them - I think you can rely on him to stick up for you if necessary, and it may not be - they may well be desperate for contact with their grandchildren and it may be possible to mend fences in a way you are comfortable with.

    Natalie has lost her father too, you're all still in grief and mourning. Letting things lie is always a good thing for a while. In the long run, a separate house would be good (the site you described once sounds idyllic) but the if odds aren't favourable for planning, compromises are necessary. In the meantime, your landlady is lucky to have you to take care of her house.

    Stress is normal. You're coping and enjoying life when it isn't biting you on the bum. Dew yew keep a-troshin' gal, as we say in our impenetrable Norfolk.

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  7. I'm quite sure the kids won't mind if their clothes aren't perfectly clean.

    Second children generally progress faster than first, so I'm told. My friend had two very close like yours and the younger couldn't wait to get started so he could do all the things he could see the older one doing. :-) I was the same even though I'm four years younger than my brother - quicker to walk and far more confident - I apparently followed my Dad up the ladder into the loft when I was three, when my brother wouldn't even have done that at seven :-)

    GoodTwin

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  8. I'm quite sure the kids won't mind if their clothes aren't perfectly clean.

    Second children generally progress faster than first, so I'm told. My friend had two very close like yours and the younger couldn't wait to get started so he could do all the things he could see the older one doing. :-) I was the same even though I'm four years younger than my brother - quicker to walk and far more confident - I apparently followed my Dad up the ladder into the loft when I was three, when my brother wouldn't even have done that at seven :-)

    GoodTwin

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  9. good photo opp. chicken on sofa.

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  10. Don't you wish people who equate depression to be a bit mardy and lazy could be injected with it for a fortnight - then see if they say the same thing!

    Take care and hugs to you all.

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  11. Don't you wish people who equate depression to be a bit mardy and lazy could be injected with it for a fortnight - then see if they say the same thing!

    Take care and hugs to you all.

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  12. Extremely true Beki.
    I'll remember that, I tell you its been frustrating the hell out of me :-(

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  13. Extremely true Beki.
    I'll remember that, I tell you its been frustrating the hell out of me :-(

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