Saturday, 16 August 2008

finished


We have just got back from our friend's funeral. It was lovely, as far as these things go - a Humanist ceremony in the Community Centre and then a green-field burial up the road.

We then went to see a house that we saw on the internet this morning and thought might be suitable for us. It is in the next village, it is a reasonable price and it has a nice garden. The owners are lovely.

But they asked me straight out what our own situation was with where we are living now. And I told them. I find lying really hard - I abhor it, I am bad at it and I don't think it brings you any good in the long run.

B is angry with me.

What could I have done? I just don't know what to do.

I am so tired. B is so tired.

The chickens have Mycoplasma and I am probably going to have to cull them; although it's apparently endemic in small flocks I can't board them out to anyone else knowing that they are carriers. And it's looking unlikely that we will find a place to stay that we can take them to.

It is raining. Tonight, I want to drink until I can't think any more, whilst cutting my arms.

8 comments:

  1. If you're asked a straight question, you can't lie. What else could you have done?

    And, in reference to the last sentence, please, dearest Ally, don't. Please don't. Hold on to B and your baby and know that the four of you, together, are what matter.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you're asked a straight question, you can't lie. What else could you have done?

    And, in reference to the last sentence, please, dearest Ally, don't. Please don't. Hold on to B and your baby and know that the four of you, together, are what matter.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The tuth is always better. Somehow a lie comes back to get you in the end. Did the owners deny you because of it? You are entitled to a fresh start. It will happen.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ah babe, please don't.......

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ah babe, please don't.......

    ReplyDelete
  6. In just the next village it's entirely possible they already knew your situation and wanted to know if you'd tell them. Lying certainly wouldn't have helped in those circumstances.

    Harking back to your previous post the shame that used to be applied to your position no longer applies and you shouldn't feel it. Too many people, however careful, have been caught out by the economic climate through no fault of their own (and a lot of fault of the government).

    You have a loving partner and children and too much to give up on. You are strong. You just need to hang onto that strength.

    GoodTwin

    ReplyDelete
  7. In just the next village it's entirely possible they already knew your situation and wanted to know if you'd tell them. Lying certainly wouldn't have helped in those circumstances.

    Harking back to your previous post the shame that used to be applied to your position no longer applies and you shouldn't feel it. Too many people, however careful, have been caught out by the economic climate through no fault of their own (and a lot of fault of the government).

    You have a loving partner and children and too much to give up on. You are strong. You just need to hang onto that strength.

    GoodTwin

    ReplyDelete