Here's a tip: When trying to drill a small hole from the bedroom down in to the kitchen, try not to simultaneously drill through both the hot water pipe and the ring main, particularly at 7.30PM on a Saturday night.
In a fit of embarrassed despair, B spent an hour phoning plumbers from the Yellow Pages* and eventually found a chap in Wrexham, an hour's drive away, who was prepared to come and sort us out. He left a party to do so and turned up very smartly dressed and radiating bonhomie. He wasn't obviously drunk. But we wondered, after he waxed lyrical for about five minutes about how he would have liked to give us all fridge magnets, but his order hadn't arrived yet.
He replaced the section of pipe, proffered reassurances to B that OF COURSE he couldn't have seen that he was drilling in to the pipe, because of the angle of the beam; relieved us of ninety quid and a dozen eggs; and disappeared in to the night in a cloud of cheer. And possibly champagne.
Somehow the evening seemed dimmer without him.
By this time it was 11.30pm, so we left the ring main repair until this morning and collapsed in to bed.
Other things we have achieved this weekend include:
1. Buying 25 kilos of salt with which to salt our pig (currently in bits in the freezer). I want to make ham. And I want to make brawn (or head cheese, as they call it in Jamie's neck of the woods).
2. Entertained the Kitchen Witches, who were remarkably chipper about the DIY Chaos - they said it made a soothing change from stressing about their own.
3. Installed the electric oven (although it isn't connected yet). AND the workmen have finished installing the soild fuel stove. Shiny kitchen pictures to come some time this week. Oh, AND B has finished the shower. AND we have hot water to actually shower in. Result!
4. Got out act together enough to go and get a carpet to replace the soaking one in the bedroom. They are coming to fit it tomorrow.
5. Started vomiting again. Isn't the body wonderful? It's only been twelve months since I was this sick before and I had completely forgotten how rancid it is.
For now, that is all. I am off to catch up on the washing, now we have both power AND water.
* Why do people advertise themselves as '24 Hour Callout' when when you ring them at 7.30 on a Saturday night they say 'I can come at 9am on Monday'?