Thursday, 8 November 2007

in brief


B's been away for two nights - only one more to go. I have no idea how single parents manage this on an ongoing basis - I am exhausted.

Tomorrow, Leo and I rendevouz with B at his parents - we are staying with them for the weekend. I am desperately hoping that Kate will volunteer to look after Leo for a night so that I can get some unbroken sleep. His reflux is not a great deal better and he keeps his feed down much more successfully if I only give him small quantities - say three ounces at a time. This means that he wants feeding every two hours during the day - although at night for some reason (do not question, just give thanks) he seems to be taking more and it's not coming back up so much.

Banana Cake recipe here. Go on, go for it and then tell me what you think. I didn't add the zest.

We still have half a wall in a pile in the middle of the small living room, as part of the process of turning it in to a kitchen. There is grit everywhere. We are hoping to get it done by mid-winter. I have my doubts.

Blogging is severely restricted at the moment, due to Life getting in the way - I'm annoyed with myself - even if I have the time, eg, now, my brain is so cabbaged that I can't construct a coherent post. And if I drop in on other people I can't think of anything sensible to leave in the comments. Please tell me that this phase won't last for ever?

Also, I recommend NOT carrying a gallon and a half of sugar solution, two beehive crown-boards and a smoker up to the top of the garden and then lifting the top off the beehives on your own unless you want to feel as if your womb is falling out. I won't be doing that again.

Now, I'm going to make Christmas cake. All the ingredients are in a big pile on the kitchen worktop and I am determined not to leave them there until January, which was what happened last year.


19 comments:

  1. it truly does get better. And with regard to MIL I would ask for her help, she may not want to seem to be interfering. Don't try to do too much. you have come such a long way in the last 12 months, let stuff slide and get the rest you need

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  2. it truly does get better. And with regard to MIL I would ask for her help, she may not want to seem to be interfering. Don't try to do too much. you have come such a long way in the last 12 months, let stuff slide and get the rest you need

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  3. No, it doesn't go on this way for ever. Leo needs everything doing for him at the moment, which will ease as he gets older.
    The whole "brain turning to mush" thing is sometimes reversible - it tends to depend on the kid!
    I'm sure you'll be okay on all fronts. It's still early days.

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  4. No, it doesn't go on this way for ever. Leo needs everything doing for him at the moment, which will ease as he gets older.
    The whole "brain turning to mush" thing is sometimes reversible - it tends to depend on the kid!
    I'm sure you'll be okay on all fronts. It's still early days.

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  5. My most woeful memory is of feeding my daughter, only for me, her and the carpet to be drenched as she chucked it all straight up. She was promptly hungry again, but she'd had all my milk. I just sat and cried as she latched painfully on to my empty breast.

    Yes, it got better. And mothers-in-law love to help, but may be wary of looking as if they are trying to take over, so do ask for help.

    Lots of love, darling xx

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  6. My most woeful memory is of feeding my daughter, only for me, her and the carpet to be drenched as she chucked it all straight up. She was promptly hungry again, but she'd had all my milk. I just sat and cried as she latched painfully on to my empty breast.

    Yes, it got better. And mothers-in-law love to help, but may be wary of looking as if they are trying to take over, so do ask for help.

    Lots of love, darling xx

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  7. As others have said, it does it better - it really does. The sleep deprevation is the worst thing going, but it does pass. I too would recomend asking for help. Most Grannies are over the moon to be handed a crying baby in need of a nappy change and a bottle, and it is so nice just to hand them over!

    Suzanne

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  8. As others have said, it does it better - it really does. The sleep deprevation is the worst thing going, but it does pass. I too would recomend asking for help. Most Grannies are over the moon to be handed a crying baby in need of a nappy change and a bottle, and it is so nice just to hand them over!

    Suzanne

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  9. Clearly what is needed here is a large dose of sherry, and bugger the Christmas cake! I suggest you subcontract cake-making - I would be happy to volunteer, and you could even collect it when you come to visit - and retire to the sofa armed with something suitably calming, like, say, a bottle of gin. Or a nice magazine. :)

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  10. Look, your hormones have spent nine months screwing themselves up for this - now you have sleepless nights to face and lots of things to do, immediately after you come out of the most taxing crisis a body normally ever has to go through. Its not exactly recuperation.
    Give your hormones a diary window of another 9 months to reverse the process. It could be a lot less, but if you mess around by trying to rush the process and be 'normal', e.g. trying to get all the laundry done, remember what the hoover is, or get out of your dressing gown at least once every day (why??) etc, then it might become 18 months instead.
    Right now you can, from the deepest sleep, wake in an instant if your baby sighs or rolls over. That takes concentration and brain capacity and tremendous amounts of energy. Its not surprising that fewer of your faculties are left to be at your conscious beck and call.
    I worry that you are having visitors or going visiting, unless someone else is doing the packing, the driving and the laundry when you get back.
    Oh and if, in six months time, you walk into the supermarket, realise you are halfway down the veggie isle with your pyjama top on, toast crumbs in your hair, your umbrella still up and no idea where your purse is or what you came to buy, then hell girl, we've all been there. Don't wish the ground would swallow you up until you've counted the unknown grannies all giving you warm, sympathetic glances.

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  11. Look, your hormones have spent nine months screwing themselves up for this - now you have sleepless nights to face and lots of things to do, immediately after you come out of the most taxing crisis a body normally ever has to go through. Its not exactly recuperation.
    Give your hormones a diary window of another 9 months to reverse the process. It could be a lot less, but if you mess around by trying to rush the process and be 'normal', e.g. trying to get all the laundry done, remember what the hoover is, or get out of your dressing gown at least once every day (why??) etc, then it might become 18 months instead.
    Right now you can, from the deepest sleep, wake in an instant if your baby sighs or rolls over. That takes concentration and brain capacity and tremendous amounts of energy. Its not surprising that fewer of your faculties are left to be at your conscious beck and call.
    I worry that you are having visitors or going visiting, unless someone else is doing the packing, the driving and the laundry when you get back.
    Oh and if, in six months time, you walk into the supermarket, realise you are halfway down the veggie isle with your pyjama top on, toast crumbs in your hair, your umbrella still up and no idea where your purse is or what you came to buy, then hell girl, we've all been there. Don't wish the ground would swallow you up until you've counted the unknown grannies all giving you warm, sympathetic glances.

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  12. Everything the others said, but it will mean you reading them and Taking Note, of course!

    ps: I'm having two of my granddaughters overnight, and didn't realise their parents Needed some time together and a full nights sleep, until she ASKED.

    Right, nagging over. Take Care xx

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  13. Everything the others said, but it will mean you reading them and Taking Note, of course!

    ps: I'm having two of my granddaughters overnight, and didn't realise their parents Needed some time together and a full nights sleep, until she ASKED.

    Right, nagging over. Take Care xx

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  14. What everyone else said! Really, don't be afraid to ask for help! Grannies do like to be asked, they often won't offer because they worry about interfering.

    Oh, and take absolutely no notice of anyone who claims they were back to normal mere weeks after giving birth. They either had an army of helpers or are compulsive liars who enjoy making other mothers feel inadequate.

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  15. What everyone else said! Really, don't be afraid to ask for help! Grannies do like to be asked, they often won't offer because they worry about interfering.

    Oh, and take absolutely no notice of anyone who claims they were back to normal mere weeks after giving birth. They either had an army of helpers or are compulsive liars who enjoy making other mothers feel inadequate.

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  16. Ally, be thankful you have an excuse for the brain being mush at the moment.. ;-)

    I've bookmarked the banana recipe, I've run out of zucchinis, and need something else to experiment with, so that's good. I'll try it soon.

    And yes, don't ask the MIL for help, demand it, assume it as your right. You earned a decent night's sleep once in a while, by giving her a healthy baby grandson. I think it's the least she could do...

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  17. Ally, be thankful you have an excuse for the brain being mush at the moment.. ;-)

    I've bookmarked the banana recipe, I've run out of zucchinis, and need something else to experiment with, so that's good. I'll try it soon.

    And yes, don't ask the MIL for help, demand it, assume it as your right. You earned a decent night's sleep once in a while, by giving her a healthy baby grandson. I think it's the least she could do...

    ReplyDelete
  18. I have no idea about postpartum exhaustion, so I'll leave that to the experts.

    If you do (or your subcontractor does) your Christmas cake anytime before next Thursday, you'll be ahead of me! I do mine on or around Thanksgiving.

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  19. I have no idea about postpartum exhaustion, so I'll leave that to the experts.

    If you do (or your subcontractor does) your Christmas cake anytime before next Thursday, you'll be ahead of me! I do mine on or around Thanksgiving.

    ReplyDelete