Wednesday, 3 October 2007

and then she touched my breast ...

27092007(001)And then she touched my breast ...

... or 101 reasons why you shouldn't invite your mother-in-law to stay two days after you give birth.

Firstly, thank you SO MUCH everyone, for all your good wishes and good thoughts. I have finally got logged on this morning* and caught up with all the comments and emails. We are both slightly stunned and very, very touched by the number of people who have delurked and wished us well. Thank you all so much, we both feel that we have made so many friends via the internet; some of whom we have never met and possibly never will. I am slightly sniffly writing this and it's not all the hormones :).

Well, I guess the drama is all over now, and it feels odd blogging about it a fortnight afterwards.
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The labour and the first week were pretty rough. I have written about it all and I might post it a bit later on when things have settled in my mind. Suffice to say it was thirty-six hours from when the induction started to when Leo actually appeared, the last six hours of which were without pain relief, with him stuck the wrong way round (ie, back to back with me) and me not really able to move around very much because of the symphis pubis condition. They eventually tried a ventous, which slipped off; and they ended up using forceps.

We were both very tired and a bit beaten up and it's really taken all this time for both of us to recover - not having the internet or the phone for so long has, I suppose, given us a chance to do just that.
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He is beautiful.

I am having trouble feeding him because my nipples are so sore - so we are 'topping him up' with formula after each feed and I am going to start expressing I think - only I feel a bit weird about it, as if I have udders. We are going to have to see how that works out. I seem to cry all the time I am feeding him - emotion mostly, but also because it's so uncomfortable. I have also conceived the bizarre idea that he is going to be taken away from me and given to someone else to look after.

I am aware that that is an irrational thought and mostly I am managing it - it just creeps up on me when I'm tired and makes me really angry. Unfortunately it's main focus is Kate, B's mother. She came to visit and look after the house for a few days after Leo was born and she was so excited that she wanted to be with him all the time. Her boundaries became pretty blurred and she was coming in and out of our bedroom whilst I was naked and actually picked my breast up and tried to put it in his mouth whilst I was trying to get him to latch on.18092007(007)

Not helpful.

Things are okay with her now, though - we asked her to go home a bit early and are taking things slowly with her.

Pa news - he is better in himself, from the stomach bleed, the three infections and the d &v on the ward. However, he now has a clot in his leg and is on a heparin drip to sort that out. Presumably they are then going to get him back on warfrin with a view to discharging him to home, because they don't think the physios can help him any more - he still can't walk. He is very 'turned down' and quite vague and sleepy all the time. He is also refusing to eat very much. We went down at the weekend (military operation, but worked quite well), and at least I feel that I've seen him.

More later. I've MISSED blogging :).


* House news - the move fell through the day before we wanted to complete. We are staying put for a while we think, our heads are too full for anything else at the moment. The reason for the bloggage delay is that we were incredibly organised and transferred all the internet and phone services to the 'new' house. And it has taken them this long to reconnect everything, because, it transpires, they were trying to reconnect them to the wrong house. Oooops.

42 comments:

  1. Good to hear from you again. And thanks for the pictures. Leo is a beautiful baby ! Everything you are feeling is so normal. I did not excel at breastfeeding. In fact after the first one i didn't even try. I raised 3 bottle fed children and not one of them sseemed the worse for it.
    Looking forward to hearing more and seeing more photos.

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  2. Good to hear from you again. And thanks for the pictures. Leo is a beautiful baby ! Everything you are feeling is so normal. I did not excel at breastfeeding. In fact after the first one i didn't even try. I raised 3 bottle fed children and not one of them sseemed the worse for it.
    Looking forward to hearing more and seeing more photos.

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  3. Ah, he looks lovely, and Leo is a great name. Or is it a blog name and he's really Ghyys? Or Iffan? Do you feel weird being on the other side of the whole thing now?

    Oh yes, I've had that with my MIL. Well, not the breast, but almost. I suppose they can't help it, it's a very confusing time for them, but it took about four years for me to be able to tolerate her involvement without getting very cross. Actually, I suspected that she was battling with her irrational desire to run away with the baby and sit cooing over her in a cave somewhere, there was something about the way she held her - possessive, it always felt like she had her back slightly towards me. I don't think you're being paranoid, just instinctive.

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  4. Ah, he looks lovely, and Leo is a great name. Or is it a blog name and he's really Ghyys? Or Iffan? Do you feel weird being on the other side of the whole thing now?

    Oh yes, I've had that with my MIL. Well, not the breast, but almost. I suppose they can't help it, it's a very confusing time for them, but it took about four years for me to be able to tolerate her involvement without getting very cross. Actually, I suspected that she was battling with her irrational desire to run away with the baby and sit cooing over her in a cave somewhere, there was something about the way she held her - possessive, it always felt like she had her back slightly towards me. I don't think you're being paranoid, just instinctive.

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  5. Fabulous to see you blogging again! Thanks for the pictures of your wonderful son and the proud parents (and Auntie)!

    The drama is all over? Oh you naive little thing, it's just beginning but we're all here to help as we can.

    All the very best to the whole family. Bless you all.

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  6. Fabulous to see you blogging again! Thanks for the pictures of your wonderful son and the proud parents (and Auntie)!

    The drama is all over? Oh you naive little thing, it's just beginning but we're all here to help as we can.

    All the very best to the whole family. Bless you all.

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  7. Well done and congratulations on having a beautiful baby.

    Enjoy every minute of your new family, and ignore anyone who feels the need to give 'advice' that actually sounds like warnings.

    Babies are almost as much fun as cats and it just keeps getting better and better.

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  8. Well done and congratulations on having a beautiful baby.

    Enjoy every minute of your new family, and ignore anyone who feels the need to give 'advice' that actually sounds like warnings.

    Babies are almost as much fun as cats and it just keeps getting better and better.

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  9. so so happy for you, and what a lovely baby.

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  10. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! You're back! Fantastic.

    The mother-in-law thing sounds challenging, beyond even the realm of Mr. KW's dear mama. I can only marvel at your control and discretion! I'd've been shrieking and would rapidly have become quite incoherent. Apart from maybe 'fuck off', which would have been oddly clear, no doubt. :)

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  11. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! You're back! Fantastic.

    The mother-in-law thing sounds challenging, beyond even the realm of Mr. KW's dear mama. I can only marvel at your control and discretion! I'd've been shrieking and would rapidly have become quite incoherent. Apart from maybe 'fuck off', which would have been oddly clear, no doubt. :)

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  12. What a lovely boy! Thanks for the pics.

    Glad things are settling down, though I don't care to think how my wife would have reacted if my mum had tried the same thing. Suffice it to say we would likely not be living in the same house as it would not have survived the explosion!

    Bad luck on the house, but perhaps for the best. Trust me, you won't have the energy for much other than the baby for quite some time.

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  13. What a lovely boy! Thanks for the pics.

    Glad things are settling down, though I don't care to think how my wife would have reacted if my mum had tried the same thing. Suffice it to say we would likely not be living in the same house as it would not have survived the explosion!

    Bad luck on the house, but perhaps for the best. Trust me, you won't have the energy for much other than the baby for quite some time.

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  14. He IS beautiful! I am amazed at how pretty he is after all that labor. Guppy looked like he had been in a fist fight ...

    I'm so glad you're home and getting rested. And just between us, there's not an MIL or a mother who is not a little jealous, deep down inside. I agree, yours stepped over the line, but hopefully she'll get better control. And sore nipples? -- ouch, mine hurt just remembering the first couple of weeks! But it usually gets better, and if not, bottle fed babies do fine, too.

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  15. He IS beautiful! I am amazed at how pretty he is after all that labor. Guppy looked like he had been in a fist fight ...

    I'm so glad you're home and getting rested. And just between us, there's not an MIL or a mother who is not a little jealous, deep down inside. I agree, yours stepped over the line, but hopefully she'll get better control. And sore nipples? -- ouch, mine hurt just remembering the first couple of weeks! But it usually gets better, and if not, bottle fed babies do fine, too.

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  16. He looks beautiful - congratulations!

    Get the sore nipples checked out. Breastfeeding really shouldn't hurt (at least not too much!), and sore nipples can lead onto other bad and sore things. Get your midwife to check your latch, and keep nagging her until it doesn't hurt! If she can't help you, contact a breastfeeding consellor (NCT, ABM, LLL etc).

    Sorry to delurk with an almost 'BF nazi' post, but being pro-BF it makes me sad when peoples experiences of BF are entirely pain related when it shouldn't that way.

    Enjoy your baby - he really does look lovely!

    Suzanne

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  17. He looks beautiful - congratulations!

    Get the sore nipples checked out. Breastfeeding really shouldn't hurt (at least not too much!), and sore nipples can lead onto other bad and sore things. Get your midwife to check your latch, and keep nagging her until it doesn't hurt! If she can't help you, contact a breastfeeding consellor (NCT, ABM, LLL etc).

    Sorry to delurk with an almost 'BF nazi' post, but being pro-BF it makes me sad when peoples experiences of BF are entirely pain related when it shouldn't that way.

    Enjoy your baby - he really does look lovely!

    Suzanne

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  18. Oh, he is totally adorable! Lucky old you - I love babies :) My 2nd child was OP and so I know how you feel - I pushed out out myself because they didn't actually realise she was until her head popped out and then they were like "Oh, right". Doh!
    I agree with Suzanne - get some help with the b/f thing. It is SO rewarding once you get the latch right.

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  19. Oh, he is totally adorable! Lucky old you - I love babies :) My 2nd child was OP and so I know how you feel - I pushed out out myself because they didn't actually realise she was until her head popped out and then they were like "Oh, right". Doh!
    I agree with Suzanne - get some help with the b/f thing. It is SO rewarding once you get the latch right.

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  20. you're glowing kiddo. we are all so chuffed for you.

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  21. you're glowing kiddo. we are all so chuffed for you.

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  22. Horray! Welcome back! I was sure you were so caught up in the whirlwind that we'd not hear from you in a while; good to hear your connection is back up now.

    I am fascinated by birth stories now, as I am looking forward to one of my own in about 7 months.

    He's beautiful, and it looks like someone has been enthusiastically knitting. Lucky boy!

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  23. Horray! Welcome back! I was sure you were so caught up in the whirlwind that we'd not hear from you in a while; good to hear your connection is back up now.

    I am fascinated by birth stories now, as I am looking forward to one of my own in about 7 months.

    He's beautiful, and it looks like someone has been enthusiastically knitting. Lucky boy!

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  24. Congratulations - I know that Leo will bring you great joy. I am delurking with a "don't worry if you can't breastfeeding" post. Yes, breastfeeding REALLY hurts, expressing milk isn't much better in the pain stakes & you are NOT a failure if it doesn't work for you both regardless of what health "professionals" may suggest.

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  25. Congratulations - I know that Leo will bring you great joy. I am delurking with a "don't worry if you can't breastfeeding" post. Yes, breastfeeding REALLY hurts, expressing milk isn't much better in the pain stakes & you are NOT a failure if it doesn't work for you both regardless of what health "professionals" may suggest.

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  26. Pictures! I've been longing for pictures, thank you.

    If you intend (not just hope) to breastfeed, do away with the supplementary bottles asap, as your milk will dry up otherwise. I was, the first time, quite unprepared for the sudden barrage balloons I developed when the milk flooded in and breastfeeding really hurt a lot for a few days. It wasn't until I put away the bottles a well-meaning nurse had supplied me with and resolved to get it right that, together, my baby and I solved the problem.

    Drama all over? Heh heh.

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  27. Pictures! I've been longing for pictures, thank you.

    If you intend (not just hope) to breastfeed, do away with the supplementary bottles asap, as your milk will dry up otherwise. I was, the first time, quite unprepared for the sudden barrage balloons I developed when the milk flooded in and breastfeeding really hurt a lot for a few days. It wasn't until I put away the bottles a well-meaning nurse had supplied me with and resolved to get it right that, together, my baby and I solved the problem.

    Drama all over? Heh heh.

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  28. Congratulation again to you all, I have to say that MIL intrusion is something I don't think I could cope with in that situation...I'm bad enough with just a weekend visit, and we don't even have children!

    Loved the photies ;)

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  29. Congratulation again to you all, I have to say that MIL intrusion is something I don't think I could cope with in that situation...I'm bad enough with just a weekend visit, and we don't even have children!

    Loved the photies ;)

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  30. Oh Ally, he looks perfect.
    So many congratulations.

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  31. Oh Ally, he looks perfect.
    So many congratulations.

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  32. Oh he looks absolutely gorgeous!!! Edible. Or - as a friend of mine decribed her own baby, with her tongue only slightly in her cheek, 'objectively beautiful'! So pleased for you honey!!

    The baby blues...the strange thoughts...it'll be OK I'm sure. These crazy ideas well up - your body has after all been hit by an absolute tidal wave of hormones!

    Now get some sleep Ally!

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  33. Oh he looks absolutely gorgeous!!! Edible. Or - as a friend of mine decribed her own baby, with her tongue only slightly in her cheek, 'objectively beautiful'! So pleased for you honey!!

    The baby blues...the strange thoughts...it'll be OK I'm sure. These crazy ideas well up - your body has after all been hit by an absolute tidal wave of hormones!

    Now get some sleep Ally!

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  34. (Oh, good, it's going to let me post a comment today. I tried yesterday, honest!)

    He's beautiful, absolutely beautiful. You done good.

    I may have mentioned this before, but if you ask five breastfeeding women for advice on nursing, you are likely to get no less than five different answers, and maybe more.

    Thing One had low blood sugar when she was born (I am type 2 diabetic), and I had to give her formula until her levels were normal. I had no problem establishing my milk supply because of this. I got really bad advice from a nurse in the NICU ward, which I'm sure made things bad for us, but even that didn't harm my supply.

    Every woman is different. Try to trust your own instincts as to what will work best for Leo and you. If you think the formula is necessary, use it. If you think it's making things worse, back off from it and see what happens.

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  35. (Oh, good, it's going to let me post a comment today. I tried yesterday, honest!)

    He's beautiful, absolutely beautiful. You done good.

    I may have mentioned this before, but if you ask five breastfeeding women for advice on nursing, you are likely to get no less than five different answers, and maybe more.

    Thing One had low blood sugar when she was born (I am type 2 diabetic), and I had to give her formula until her levels were normal. I had no problem establishing my milk supply because of this. I got really bad advice from a nurse in the NICU ward, which I'm sure made things bad for us, but even that didn't harm my supply.

    Every woman is different. Try to trust your own instincts as to what will work best for Leo and you. If you think the formula is necessary, use it. If you think it's making things worse, back off from it and see what happens.

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  36. Congratulations! Leo is beautiful. Welcome back.

    Breast feeding can be tough at first. It DOES hurt for awhile. Good luck.

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  37. Congratulations! Leo is beautiful. Welcome back.

    Breast feeding can be tough at first. It DOES hurt for awhile. Good luck.

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  38. Hey, this is one of the times in your life you're allowed to act crazy because of hormones, so enjoy it! Wow - you both look great. Blessings.

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  39. Hey, this is one of the times in your life you're allowed to act crazy because of hormones, so enjoy it! Wow - you both look great. Blessings.

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  40. Finally caught up with some of the blogs I used to visit. Congrats on safe arrival of Leo. Hope things are settling down now, and that you had a great first Christmas with your baby.

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