Firstly, apologies to Graeme, who came here looking for sites about snuff to link to his Yahoo Group; not sites about snuff, as I nasty-mindedly assumed. My time at The Company That Cannot Be Named For Legal Reasons has made me very cynical about the internet and I am therefore a Bad Person. Sorry Graeme. I still can't work out why Google pointed you here though - unless it WAS because of that very early post about TCTCBNFLR.
Secondly, the people who came to look at the house yesterday afternoon are coming back for a second viewing this morning. Hence my thrutching around on the internet to calm my nerves before they arrive at ten. Cross everything, please.
Thirdly, I have taken the plunge and got myself a last minute appointment with the obstretician tomorrow to discuss medication. I have been going through quite a severe phase of resenting the bump, being revolted by the idea of the baby inside me and just wanting it all to be over so that I can give it to someone else and leg it over the horizon. And then feeling really guilty that the baby will know that I don't want it.
Not entirely healthy.
I'm okay - doing lots of parenting myself, knowing that what I'm feeling is hormonally or chemically produced, knowing I'm confused. But I need a bit of help.
So I phoned them up yesterday after a chat with a friend (*waves thank you*) and then phoned my mum. Who was in a Good Place, relatively low on the Fishy Scale of Madness, and is coming up on the train either this evening or tomorrow morning to stay for a night or two. (Quote: "It's not that I'm worried about leaving your father dear, I shouldn't worry about dreaming that he's dead, he's tough as old boots and has got quite a lot of mileage left in him yet. He was out on his scooter yesterday and is quite happy. It's more Foxy (the dog). His blood-sugar is really high and I have to carry him up the stairs to bed at night").
I think that B has phoned her too and had a word with her; and he's told me not to worry about anyone else's problems, just to concentrate on myself and keeping steady.
Right. I'm going to go and randomly open and shut doors and windows for twenty minutes now and do a last minute Dead Vole Check. More later, if there's more to tell.
And Steg, I haven't forgotten your interview - it's just I'm a bit crap. Sorry.