Bastard clients who post you cheques that bounce should be hung up by their toes and beaten to within an inch of their lives with the squiffly end of a multicore cable.
In other news, yesterday I caught two swarms of bees. Yay! It appears that if B puts his foot in the middle of my back and pulls the zip really hard, I CAN get in to the bee suit.
Because we had yet ANOTHER swarm (which was sitting in a heap on the ground), as well as the one hanging in the tree, it seemed like it was my turn to do something about it. So I smoked the one on the bank in to the nucleus box, where they are now patiently waiting for a friend to come and collect them*.
And the swarm in the tree I managed to drop in to a cardboard box by hitting the tree stump firmly a few times with a rubber mallet.
This was quite exciting, both for me and for the bees - most of them dropped off on the first whack (apparently the older the bee is, the quicker they let go when you whack whatever they're clinging on to) and after two or three more whacks, about five sixths of them were in the box.
Then I tipped the box of bees in to a spare hive and went and stood patiently and waited for the cloud of quite cross bees buzzing around me to get fed up and go away.
Eventually they did, and the colony are still there in the hive this afternoon. They had started making comb in the tree, so I snapped that off and chucked it in with them. This morning we have been to visit Bob The Bee Man Of Bettws, and bought some new brood frames to put in the hive to make it all nice and spick and span for them. I shall organise the hive and put the new frames in tomorrow, so long as it's stopped raining.
In the meantime, we have found somewhere that we really, really want to live. It ticks ALL our boxes - right location; right amount of land (two thirds of an acre); right size house (two bedrooms, outbuilding for office space); right kind of central heating (solid fuel, so easy to add in solar hot water panels); own water supply; own drainage; and, miraculously, right price. Only we don't have a buyer. I have spent a couple of hours looking in to Bridging Loans (eeek! at the interest rates) and those companies that buy your house in ten days for less than it's market value (eek! again, but slightly less so). We are, almost literally, praying for a buyer or some kind of financial miracle.
As a brief break from all of that, I am now going to stir my rhubarb wine.
* I have swapped it for a small pig, which will be arriving in the autumn when it is ready to leave it's mother. By then, hopefully we will have somewhere to actually KEEP a small pig.