Oh bollockys bollocksy bollocks.
After all that positivity in the last post, I went and looked on the doormat for any letters that had come while we were away. And there was a letter from Social Services dated 8th Jan (ie, Monday, before we, and they, knew about the medicals happening). It is a very short letter from our adoption worker to arrange a home visit appointment on 27th February, 'to discuss our application'.
This is NOT good. We have been arranging appointments by phone, not letter and it's all been very informal. Appointments have been being arranged a couple of weeks apart - this is six weeks away.
We both felt as if we'd been punched in the stomach.
We were told just after New Year that our application was on hold until the medicals had been sorted out. I expect that this letter is because we weren't able to get them arranged immediately.
I am so angry. The chap at the doctor's surgery who arranges the appointments has basically been fucking us about for the last six or seven months. But from the vibe I've been getting off them for the last couple of months, I feel that Social Services have decided that we have some kind of agenda ourselves that has meant that we have not been pushing hard enough to get the appointments. They seem so paranoid about the fact that I'm on anti-depressant medication that I wouldn't put it past them to have decided that we have been delaying deliberately.
We can't find out what is behind the letter until Monday and are therefore set for a weekend of worrying and displacement activity.
This is a roller coaster. One minute everything is fine. The next minute everything is not fine.
Sally Social Worker told us a couple of months ago that because B's police checks were costing Social Services £200 a time and he was up to £1,400 so far, they might start asking us to pay for further ones. If they count the Budapest trip as work rather than a holiday (we are viewing it as a kind of paid holiday), then they are going to have to do checks for both of us, for the Netherlands, Germany, Austria and Hungary - those are the countries that we are staying in as we drive the van across Europe.
That is £1,600 that they might ask us to pay. And probably another six months fucking about waiting for Interpol or International Social Services or whoever it is to sort it out.
We do not have £1,600.
And in another six months, I will have finally chewed my own leg off.
This RIDICULOUS. I can't actually articulate how angry and upset and afraid I am.
There are all these children needing homes, families, parents, needing to get out of care.
And I feel that again and again and again we are being looked upon as guilty parties who need to prove our innocence in order to adopt them. And you know what? All these checks and things DON'T WORK.
Sally Social Worker has given us at least two examples that she knows of personally, where the adopters were checked rigourously by Social Services and a year or two later it turned out that the husbands had started sexually abusing the children, who had to be removed.
IT DOESN'T WORK. It's all lip-service to political correctness, to covering their own arses so that if we do turn out to be abusers, they can hold their hands up and say 'we did everything we could'.
IT DOESN'T WORK. They are putting us through this, making us ride this rollercoaster, playing with our emotions, making us feel defensive and as if we are somehow deficient, NOT for the best interests of the children, but for the best interests of FUCKING Social Services, so they won't get sued, or, shock, horror, even worse, pilloried in the media.
I have all this anger inside me and I don't know what to do to let it out.
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