So as Steg said, Famous Last Words.
Damn you, SAD syndrome! Or Christmas Stress. Or whatever you are.
I did have it all planned out in my head - I still do. But I feel really battered and pushed around by other people's expectations of me.
Depression sucks, doesn't it? It creeps up on you and before you know it, there you are, sat in yesterday's knickers, too stymied to even clean your teeth; and panicking about how big a goose's body cavity is and whether you're going to manage to put your socks on in time to go to a Supplier Christmas Shindig in Manchester this evening.
The answer to that would be a resounding 'No', I think.
B has gone to swap a desk out at an installation we have running that seems to be behaving strangely. I was going to go with him and then we were going on to Manchester for this party and to stay the night, in order to go to yet another party tomorrow night. I even booked a hotel online last night, in a fit of enthusiasm.
And then I had a massive, huge out-of-control panic attack based around too many things to do and too many people wanting me to do them.
And now, I have the knickers-socks-goose's-body-cavity problem and we have paid upfront for the hotel and it's too late to cancel it.
Bollocks, if you'll excuse me saying so.
Because of the success of my Bodyclock alarm-clock thingy, that wakes you up naturally by mimicking the sunrise, B has ordered me a 'light box'. The theory being that you sit in front of it for a bit each day and it encourages you to produce seratonin. Lack of seratonin in the brain is a measure (if not a direct cause, but no-one seems to be sure about this) of depression. So that's what the SSRI-type anti-depressants do - they stop seratonin being reabsorbed by the brain.
Anyway. It should be arriving within the next day or so and it should start working within a week or so. So we'll see.
In the meantime, I must go and let the poor chickens out, socks or no socks. And then I might make myself a cup of tea.