Sunday, 15 October 2006

yes we have no chicken houses

It's grey weather outside, so no chicken house photos I'm afraid.

Instead I am going to potter around and possibly make some more banana wine ... or maybe banana cake ... or banana bread ... or banana pudding ... .

See the theme emerging here?

I feel really flat and wierdly isolated; but I also feel like I want to be left alone to get on with things by myself. India-Next-Door has decidedly taken me under her wing; which basically means that she phones me once or twice a day for a chat. And in the week, when I didn't answer the phone, she came up and knocked on the door. I really like her; but I feel a bit overwhelmed.

For the last five days B has only made time to contact me when he's arrived home at 4am after a few beers. So no real communication possible there then. It's easier for me if he doesn't bother. Particularly since when I start to mention anything I've done, he pipes up "Oh yes, I read that on the blog". So I really don't need to mention things in person.

Two friends have had babies this week. Another one has just told me she's fallen pregnant really quickly - after seeing our issues they decided to start trying just after they decided to get married. And she caught immediately. I am really happy for all of them; but sad for us. And also, I bet Madonna didn't get questioned in minute detail by her social worker about her alternative lifestyle and spiritual practices during her adoption preparation.

It's odd how you can appear quite cheerful on the outside but simultaneously feel very sad on the inside.



22 comments:

  1. While they're at it, someone should take a good long look at that Angelina Jolie!

    Sorry you are feeling flat, Ally. The s.o. used to travel a lot for work, too, complete with 4 a.m. drunk phone calls that felt frustrating at best. So I know how it feels. I hope the banana projects are cheerful-making.

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  2. While they're at it, someone should take a good long look at that Angelina Jolie!

    Sorry you are feeling flat, Ally. The s.o. used to travel a lot for work, too, complete with 4 a.m. drunk phone calls that felt frustrating at best. So I know how it feels. I hope the banana projects are cheerful-making.

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  3. Oooh I love that expression, 'caught', and the other one, 'fallen pregnant'. They work so neatly, they're very poetic.
    I have to say that it'd drive me absolutely mental-psycho to have anyone phone me twice a day. I don't know what I'd do.
    I'm sure I've said it before and I'll probably say it again since I've become so absent-minded in my old-age, but I was always really impressed by your Bs commitment to phoning you of an evening, no matter how crazy and addled the environment was. It was like he was grounding himself to avoid static shocks. I can see I'm in danger of being annoying here, but his phone calls might be helping him, even if they aren't much help to you. Ouch! OK I'm sorry it's not helpful, ouch! those bananas are quite sharp you know!

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  4. Oooh I love that expression, 'caught', and the other one, 'fallen pregnant'. They work so neatly, they're very poetic.
    I have to say that it'd drive me absolutely mental-psycho to have anyone phone me twice a day. I don't know what I'd do.
    I'm sure I've said it before and I'll probably say it again since I've become so absent-minded in my old-age, but I was always really impressed by your Bs commitment to phoning you of an evening, no matter how crazy and addled the environment was. It was like he was grounding himself to avoid static shocks. I can see I'm in danger of being annoying here, but his phone calls might be helping him, even if they aren't much help to you. Ouch! OK I'm sorry it's not helpful, ouch! those bananas are quite sharp you know!

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  5. *hugs*

    If you don't want to be isolated you know where to find me (usually!) if I can help.

    Any gin left?

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  6. *hugs*

    If you don't want to be isolated you know where to find me (usually!) if I can help.

    Any gin left?

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  7. She came to see you when you didn't answer your phone? She sounds a bit scarey to me (but I hate being stalked!)
    Oh, and according to today's paper Madonna hasn't been allowed to take the child out of the country. But I entirely agree in principle, and more so about that Jolie woman (and that Calista Flock-whatever) Humph.
    Get yourself on MSN messenger for a chat if you get fed up? I love to chat.

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  8. She came to see you when you didn't answer your phone? She sounds a bit scarey to me (but I hate being stalked!)
    Oh, and according to today's paper Madonna hasn't been allowed to take the child out of the country. But I entirely agree in principle, and more so about that Jolie woman (and that Calista Flock-whatever) Humph.
    Get yourself on MSN messenger for a chat if you get fed up? I love to chat.

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  9. Suggestions:

    1. DVD of suitable Good Life-esque material

    2. Large bar of chocolate (dark, naturally, for easier 'is good for me' self-justification, bearing in mind clothing task force discussed in previous post)

    3. Pint of sloe gin. Sorry. Did I say 'pint'? I meant, of course, litre. :)

    Oh, and you have my number if you feel like a chat. About chickens. Or booze. Or neither.

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  10. Suggestions:

    1. DVD of suitable Good Life-esque material

    2. Large bar of chocolate (dark, naturally, for easier 'is good for me' self-justification, bearing in mind clothing task force discussed in previous post)

    3. Pint of sloe gin. Sorry. Did I say 'pint'? I meant, of course, litre. :)

    Oh, and you have my number if you feel like a chat. About chickens. Or booze. Or neither.

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  11. Indulge in those bananas and here's hoping you feel better and stronger soon.

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  12. Indulge in those bananas and here's hoping you feel better and stronger soon.

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  13. I hope today is a better day.

    Try to consider that when you finally make it through the maze of the adoption process, your child will not have a name like Lourdes or Rocco, and when he or she complains that everyone is more interested in you than in him or her, you will not proceed to write a children's book about yourself to make him or her feel better.

    You will be a much better parent than Madonna, no matter how much money or how many connections she has. I cannot help but believe that. She has to do something to keep herself in the news. You want to be a parent.

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  14. I hope today is a better day.

    Try to consider that when you finally make it through the maze of the adoption process, your child will not have a name like Lourdes or Rocco, and when he or she complains that everyone is more interested in you than in him or her, you will not proceed to write a children's book about yourself to make him or her feel better.

    You will be a much better parent than Madonna, no matter how much money or how many connections she has. I cannot help but believe that. She has to do something to keep herself in the news. You want to be a parent.

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  15. I can understand how smothered you feel. I have a relative who phones everyday but nothing happens to report so it is a constant round of weather talk - drives me mad!

    I don't think the gloomy weather will help. Make lots of banana goodies, its hard not to cheer up with a banana in your hand!

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  16. I can understand how smothered you feel. I have a relative who phones everyday but nothing happens to report so it is a constant round of weather talk - drives me mad!

    I don't think the gloomy weather will help. Make lots of banana goodies, its hard not to cheer up with a banana in your hand!

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  17. "Two friends have had babies this week...."

    Ouch! Sending another hug - you will get through this adoption process and you will make a wonderful mother to your own little ones. And as someone said earlier, your children won't have names so embarassing they end up hating you.

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  18. "Two friends have had babies this week...."

    Ouch! Sending another hug - you will get through this adoption process and you will make a wonderful mother to your own little ones. And as someone said earlier, your children won't have names so embarassing they end up hating you.

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  19. I've said it before, and I shall say it again - it drives me nuts that drug addicts and sex perverts are allowed to have kids, and decent folk like yourselves have to prove themselves. Makes me MAD!

    I'm so sorry you're hurting. My sister went thru a similar experience and it was so hard.

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  20. I've said it before, and I shall say it again - it drives me nuts that drug addicts and sex perverts are allowed to have kids, and decent folk like yourselves have to prove themselves. Makes me MAD!

    I'm so sorry you're hurting. My sister went thru a similar experience and it was so hard.

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  21. I wouldn't want anyone phoning me twice a day either unless I was madly in love with them, and that ain't gonna happen!
    I nearly choked to death laughing at the irony of Madonna daring to hawk her children's book after that spectacle she made of French-kissing Britney Spears at the awards ceremony. I'm not saying anything against homosexuals or bisexuals, just against making a spectacle of yourself in that way. She is a terrible role model for her own children and that the authorities would just allow her to adopt one at the drop of a hat is appalling.

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  22. I wouldn't want anyone phoning me twice a day either unless I was madly in love with them, and that ain't gonna happen!
    I nearly choked to death laughing at the irony of Madonna daring to hawk her children's book after that spectacle she made of French-kissing Britney Spears at the awards ceremony. I'm not saying anything against homosexuals or bisexuals, just against making a spectacle of yourself in that way. She is a terrible role model for her own children and that the authorities would just allow her to adopt one at the drop of a hat is appalling.

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