Tuesday, 17 October 2006

one step two step

The trouble with being too sad to talk to people is that you can't talk to people to tell them how sad you are and ask for some help.

Ugh.

I have had all the phones switched off, because I started to physically panic whenever they rang; but I have managed to arrange a phone-call with B this afternoon, which while pretty depressing for him helped me quite a bit.

I hate how little things can STILL suddenly knock me off my perch and how a still small voice at the centre of me can see how irrational I'm being, but not really have any say in how I'm behaving.

Contributing factors this time:

  • B not being accessible for sensible conversation for most of last week (ditdotdat, yes, I know what you mean and what you said did help a bit, thank you)
  • I have undertaken some website work for a chap on behalf of the company. He is a loonbat-eared, tinfoil-hat-wearing maniac who keeps changing what he wants, shortening his deadlines and ringing me out of office hours. Also he doesn't seem to be able to remember my name. Over the course of the last week my freak-out levels where he is concerned have gone through Lost in Space ("Danger! Danger Will Robinson!"); slingshotted round the bit in WarGames where Matthew Broderick realises that the computer is playing for real; and is now at the point in A Night To Remember where Kenneth Moore is swimming around in mid-Atlantic in his polo-knecked sweater. However, during our conversation this afternoon, B said that he and R would deal with him and make him go away.
  • Finalising the end of year accounts with Sarcastic Accountant. Since I am physically unable to even think about this without having actual palpitations, it's just going to have to wait until I'm back on form.
  • Getting the house ready for viewings. My, that's fun. And so relaxing.

I didn't even make banana products. However I did make flapjacks and although I haven't been able to stir myself to make a proper meal for a couple of days I am consoling myself with the thought that oats are Good For You.

So there you are.

21 comments:

  1. Ally -- Hang in there. You aren't alone (check your subscriber numbers, maybe that'll cheer you up).

    Maybe it's time to bite the bullet and let that overly friendly neighbor chat with you about inconsequential stuff?

    You've got a lot on your plate right now, you aren't imagining it.

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  2. Ally -- Hang in there. You aren't alone (check your subscriber numbers, maybe that'll cheer you up).

    Maybe it's time to bite the bullet and let that overly friendly neighbor chat with you about inconsequential stuff?

    You've got a lot on your plate right now, you aren't imagining it.

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  3. Oats are VERY good for you. Hope you find writing about it therapeutic.

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  4. Awww, that's a relief. I have been checking back a bit more often than makes sense to see if I was Really In Trouble. I've been watching two episodes of Thirtysomething a day for the last week, thanks to the magic-whirring-and-clicking-TV-delaying-box so I'm very attuned to the dangers of Saying The Wrong Thing. You want to watch out with those oats though, you don't want to go Scottish.

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  5. Awww, that's a relief. I have been checking back a bit more often than makes sense to see if I was Really In Trouble. I've been watching two episodes of Thirtysomething a day for the last week, thanks to the magic-whirring-and-clicking-TV-delaying-box so I'm very attuned to the dangers of Saying The Wrong Thing. You want to watch out with those oats though, you don't want to go Scottish.

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  6. Going Scottish isn't necessarily the worst side-effect of eating too many oats. Be very careful!

    Glad you've had a more satisfactory conversation with B, hang in there, he'll soon be home and we're all rooting for you!

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  7. Going Scottish isn't necessarily the worst side-effect of eating too many oats. Be very careful!

    Glad you've had a more satisfactory conversation with B, hang in there, he'll soon be home and we're all rooting for you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Stuck for anything intelligent to say.
    Kudos.
    Respect.
    Alcohol.
    Hugs.

    Nope thats about it, but all meant.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Stuck for anything intelligent to say.
    Kudos.
    Respect.
    Alcohol.
    Hugs.

    Nope thats about it, but all meant.

    ReplyDelete
  10. When I said you could ring me whenever you wanted I wasn't just being polite.
    I know exactly what it's like to have a problem with the phone - I think it is a bit like agoraphobia - it is for me any way.
    Flapjack is good.
    Mad neighbour might not actually be mad, although, given our shared prediliction for disbelief, my first instinct would be that she is mad stalking bat. That, with reference to CBT, does not mean that she is either mad-like or bat-like.
    Ditdotdat - Thirtysomething, unlike oats, is not good for you.
    And as others say and claim dubious origins for, That Is All.
    In the navy they say this at the end of a general radio broadcast.
    I changed my mind.
    B is back soon. He loves you. It pours from his pores; not in a yucky way but in a nice safe cherishy with a bit of nooky on the side way. And some of us love you too. And given the calibre of us all, I think that might be quite significant.
    I think everyone may now be able to detect my wine consumption.
    That IS All

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  11. When I said you could ring me whenever you wanted I wasn't just being polite.
    I know exactly what it's like to have a problem with the phone - I think it is a bit like agoraphobia - it is for me any way.
    Flapjack is good.
    Mad neighbour might not actually be mad, although, given our shared prediliction for disbelief, my first instinct would be that she is mad stalking bat. That, with reference to CBT, does not mean that she is either mad-like or bat-like.
    Ditdotdat - Thirtysomething, unlike oats, is not good for you.
    And as others say and claim dubious origins for, That Is All.
    In the navy they say this at the end of a general radio broadcast.
    I changed my mind.
    B is back soon. He loves you. It pours from his pores; not in a yucky way but in a nice safe cherishy with a bit of nooky on the side way. And some of us love you too. And given the calibre of us all, I think that might be quite significant.
    I think everyone may now be able to detect my wine consumption.
    That IS All

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh love!! I'd love to come round for a cuppa if I wasn't so far away. You're not alone, we'd all come round and bug you if we weren't just binary signals. ;-)

    I'm having the 'don't come and look at my house you nosey bastards' blues too. Getting your house ready for selling is God-awful, isn't it? Especially when the agents come in, and say things like 'It would look a lot better without the clutter'. Yeah, thanks for that. *sshole.

    I eat oats too when I'm down, they ARE good for you. And easy to make. Oats and toast and chips and salsa, is when I know I'm really down, a whole day with just the instant carbs..

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  13. Oh love!! I'd love to come round for a cuppa if I wasn't so far away. You're not alone, we'd all come round and bug you if we weren't just binary signals. ;-)

    I'm having the 'don't come and look at my house you nosey bastards' blues too. Getting your house ready for selling is God-awful, isn't it? Especially when the agents come in, and say things like 'It would look a lot better without the clutter'. Yeah, thanks for that. *sshole.

    I eat oats too when I'm down, they ARE good for you. And easy to make. Oats and toast and chips and salsa, is when I know I'm really down, a whole day with just the instant carbs..

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  14. Oh I am sorry that you are havign a blue time.


    Taken nice gentle care of yourself

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  15. Oh I am sorry that you are havign a blue time.


    Taken nice gentle care of yourself

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  16. A big hug from me, Ally...if you want to talk chickens or just life in general, drop me a line. I'll be making banana jam this week--maybe we can do it at the same time!

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  17. A big hug from me, Ally...if you want to talk chickens or just life in general, drop me a line. I'll be making banana jam this week--maybe we can do it at the same time!

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  18. Aaw Ally :-( I'm really sorry to hear you are going through a bad patch. Sending a big hug! Look after yourself, and don't forget you have a lot of people who care about you.

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  19. Aaw Ally :-( I'm really sorry to hear you are going through a bad patch. Sending a big hug! Look after yourself, and don't forget you have a lot of people who care about you.

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  20. I go through that too. Where I wish someone would cheer me up but I'm feeling so morose that I just wish everyone would leave me alone.

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  21. I go through that too. Where I wish someone would cheer me up but I'm feeling so morose that I just wish everyone would leave me alone.

    ReplyDelete