Monday, 6 March 2006

sleet and beer

We are interviewing more casual technicians today.

The three that we've road-tested have now all gone out on 'proper' jobs and done very well - we're pleased with them.

So today, we have three more. And there are still another pair who have had an interview but who we haven't had a chance to actually take out on a work-trial yet.

Suddenly our capacity for taking on work has shot through the roof.

B and I have spent the weekend thinking about children, thinking about our lives, thinking about our capabilities, our needs, our wants.

Yesterday morning R and Dani brought R Major (age 5) and R Minor (age 3) around. We spent a couple of hours tying the house up with wool, running round screaming, drawing pictures of the planets in the yard with chalk and poking the compost heap with sticks.

It was great.

Even more, I am sure that adopting is the right thing for us.

We have decided that we are going to 'aim' to adopt a sibling group of three children. However, we are concerned that we won't be able to cope with three traumatised children (and the course last week really whacked home the likelihood that they might be traumatised); so we have decided to be guided by the adoption services' assessment of us and trust that they will inject some realism if they think that will be too much for us.

We are going to ask for three between the age of 0 - 8. Another possibility is to take two, with an 'option' to take a third if the birth mother of the original two has another child that she can't cope with.

Whatever size our family ends up being, we're going to have to change our working practices a bit; B is going to have to be away less, at least for a while. So having a crew of competent technicians who we trust to go out and represent us is very important.

I don't want to say too much more about last week's course. Partly because it was VERY intense, with a lot of information; and if I start writing it all down, it could be an entire blog in itself. And partly because some of the stuff that came up is other people's hopes and fears and it doesn't seem appropriate for me to share them here.

In brief though:

  • It was run by two lovely social workers
  • We spoke to foster carers and adopters and child psychotherapists and parent-partnership workers
  • We had an in-depth and very disturbing morning talking about the different kinds of sexual abuse children could be subjected to, and how that might effect their behaviour
  • There were five other couples on the course, who we are going to stay in touch with if we can. They were all from very varied backgrounds but were all lovely people. I think we will form a support network for each other as we go through this process
  • The next step is to start the Dreaded Form F - a six month process of analysis and profile building about every aspect of our lives, with a social worker. Ten two or three hour sessions, over the next six or so months.
  • Because of what we have started to call the medication issue they want us to have a medical at the beginning of the process rather than during it and we are fine with that
I think that's about it. I am very happy to answer questions about this if anyone has any; I think we've gone through the 'grief' thing I spoke about in my last post and we are both very, very excited about the whole thing.

If the interviews go smoothly, I might try and persuade the chaps to have a brief trip to the pub this afternoon ... one thing the adoptive parents said is, that although they couldn't be happier, we should make the most of this pre-child time :).

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