Wednesday, 14 December 2005

turkey crisis

I've made a cock-up.

A very large cock-up.

It appears that I was so shocked by the fact that our turkey was still alive at the moment of ordering, that I got my pounds and my kilograms confused.

I have therefore ordered a TEN KILO TURKEY for next weekend. Rather than a ten pound one. That is somewhere in region of TWENTY POUNDS. There will be, at most, fourteen of us.

Oh good grief.

What am I going to do?

B phoned the farm first thing on Monday and asked them if the turkey had already gone for the chop and if not, could we please swap it for a smaller model.

However, it was bad news. Our turkey was (to quote the farm shop chap, who turned out to have a sense of humour as well as being relatively helpful) an ex-turkey.

There was no going back.

Farm Shop Chap suggested asking Turkey Producer Chap to crown the turkey for us - ie, to remove the legs and perhaps the breastbone. This should make it a bit smaller.

And therefore it might stand a vague chance of going in the oven.

So we did.

It's arriving on Thursday.

Next year, I am going to volunteer to bring something simple, that isn't so reliant on me actually being a competent human being.

Like wine. Or cheese*.

I fear the turkey.

* Thanks to Dream for reminding me that this sketch existed. He has been looking for some Stinking Bishop, with no success.

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