Saturday, 24 September 2005

thank you

Just a quick update, in response the the comments and emails people have sent. Thank you all so much. I was really touched when I booted up this morning and a virtual torrent of support poured in to my inbox.

The funeral was indeed pretty crumby. B's Mum had actual hysterics as we were following the coffin in to the crematorium. She just couldn't help herself.

The funeral service itself was awful. It was a dry, dessicated spiel, spoken by the father-in-law of one of her grandaughters, an elder in the Jehovah's Witnesses.

Aunty Kate was not a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses and was very upset that her son and all of his family had joined. She was very distressed that she was not allowed to give any of her grandchildren or her great grandchildren presents or cards at birthdays or christmas.

There was no music at all at the service and the address was largely about her son and daughter in law and their family and how they had been left behind, but would be reunited again in the coming Paradise On Earth. There was also much pushing about how 'every single thing in the bible is true'.

The most passionate thing this man said about her was that she was 'an interesting person'. There was no celebration of her life, her uniqueness, the fact that she was loved by everyone who met her. Her beloved husband of fortyfive years was not mentioned at all. Kate and Vic were mentioned once, in passing, as part of a list of other family.

Kerry The Daughter In Law left the crematorium chapel immediately the service was over and went and sat in her car, waiting, thus probably avoiding a family row.

Not even a cup of tea and a biscuit was laid on by the immediate family for cousins who had driven three hours in each direction to come to the funeral.

B's family's response to any crisis seems to be to get pissed. So we went to the pub after the funeral yesterday and had a meal and a few pints and as nice a time as could be expected.

It then transpired that one of the reasons Kate was NOT in fact wearing all Aunty Kate's jewellery was that it is all at the local Police Station. Her son and daughter in law had called the police when they heard that Aunty Kate had died, and three policemen had turned up to question the nursing home and the doctor and had taken all her effects away.

The whole episode has been disgraceful.

I think that we are going to organise a memorial service for her at her own church, with her own vicar.

Anyway, it is all over now, the will is with a solicitor and no-one has to have anything else to do with Harry and Kerry unless they want to.

I am now going to have a large glass of wine and sit on the sofa in front of the fire with my husband, who seems to have got his brain back again.

This is good.

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