I rang my Ma last night for a bit of a chat about the Aunty Kate situation and she was really supportive - listened to everything I had to say, gave good advice ("It's not really your issue Ally, or come that, B's - all you can do is hold the fort until Kate and Vic get back and then hand over to them and try not to get involved").
And then she clearly set out to make me laugh:
Ma: So, I'm fifty quid a month down now because I've been giving Eadie Winters a massage twice a month and she's had to go in to hospital.R reckons he can see a Phoenix Nights-type series set in the village coming up ... .
Me: Oh yes?
Ma: Yes. First she drove her scooter in to the church door and gashed her leg pretty badly.
Ma: Yes. And then she tripped over and broke her leg.
Ma: I don't think she and Winnie Smith are really safe to be living on their own any more.
Ma: No. Last time I went down there I was having a cup of tea with Eadie before her massage and Winnie came in and said that she'd left the cooker on again. Last time she'd left some papers on the top of it and luckily someone came in and smelt the smoke just before they caught fire.
Me: Ah. Not good.
Ma: No. And Lucy Masters [a neighbour] says that I should be careful when I turn in to their road as Eadie has started driving again.
Ma: She gave it up when her cataracts got too bad and Winnie was driving everywhere. But now she's had her cataracts done and Winnie has had a heart attack and can't drive, so Eadie's taken it up again.
Ma: Apparently when people see her driving up through the village everyone dives for cover.