Tuesday, 7 June 2005

anarchy is all very well Neville, but who will look after the drains?

We left Ma's at just the right time. A Drains Crisis was about to erupt. This is similar to Suez, but with more poo. And whilst I don't want to step on Scaryduck's territory here, I think it's worth blogging :).

Apparently the Biker-Plumber who came to fix up the outside toilet identified a problem with the sewer between there and the septic tank - due to disuse, it had started to silt up.

And according to Ma, the sewer between the house and the septic tank has been backing up 'a bit' for the last three months; she says because of fat from the kitchen sink, which also drains in to it.

The septic tank is a brick-built 1930's masterpiece under a corner of the garden, that, when working properly, mulches away nicely and then drains its residue out across next door's field. They have the most fantastically lush grass in a ten foot strip all down the slope, even in the worst drought.

So far, so good.

On Thursday, after all our friends had left, B and I went up to the house for breakfast and walked in to something out of a Restoration Drama:

  • Ma was debating whether or not it was fair to ask Edwin to rod the drains, and deciding 'probably not' in view of his various medical conditions. She was also stressing about whether she'd be able to do it herself.
  • Pa was panicking because he has reached a stage in his life where toilet facilities are important to him.
  • And he was also stressed because he was not able to rod the drains himself.

We ate our toast, and tried not to get involved.

They finally decided to call the Biker-Plumber up to have a look. At that point, we finished packing the car and made a hasty exit. Although not before having a wee in the hedge on the way out.

When we got home, we received a telephone update, which I feel is the best kind where drains are concerned.

Biker-Plumber does not do drains.

But she knows a man who does - 'Dave Drain', who has all the latest drain-gizmos, including a pressure-hose.

Dave Drain came and had a look.

But he can't do anything with his pressure-hose thing, because the septic tank is full and the result would be unpleasantly explosive. So he's recommended a friend of his who pumps out tanks to come and do that, first.

Ma is outraged, because the pump-guys charge £120 for up to a thousand gallons.

We pointed out to here that per-gallon-bucket that was actually only 12p, which I, personally, think is worth it.

She's thinking about it.

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