Thursday, 26 May 2005

fly away, go free

I have finally finished taking the anti-depressants. I took the last one a week ago. It's taken six weeks to cut myself down gradually and it's been quite hard; I came to the conclusion that taking a half or a quarter tablet each day caused far fewer fluctuations in my mood than taking one tablet every two or three days and gradually spacing them out further.

I have been irritable as hell - I still am, really - and B has been a saint. R hasn't been bad, either, as I've been letting my irritability creep in to the office. I feel like there is all this swirly anger swilling round inside me, looking for something to latch on to and it's very difficult sometimes to remember that it's just a chemical thing, without a cause. It IS gradually subsiding though. I think. I hope.

The Plan now is to trundle along for a couple of weeks and see how I am. And at the end of that time, if all is well, decide which adoption agency we want to proceed with and see if they will have us.

We are also considering the possibility of fostering, instead, with the same criteria: sibling groups of two or three, under the age of seven.

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