Wednesday, 20 April 2005

crunch time

I've been back to see the gynae consultant today.

Apparently all my hormone levels are normal - this is good.

They have therefore offered me two options, in combination or separately:

  1. Take clomid for three months and see if that stimulates ovulation to such an extent that I produce sextuplets
  2. Have a laparoscopy to see if the endometriosis is hindering anything vital

A friend of mine has had clomid and didn't react well to it. I suspect I might be the same, because any reproductive/hormonal medication I have ever taken has had seriously delitirous effects on me.

Not keen, to be frank.

I had a laparoscopy eight years ago for the endometrial pain I was getting then, and it wasn't a pleasant experience. Also, according to the leaflet they gave us today, it carries a 0.3% chance of them perforating the bowel or the bladder, which I understand leads to general unpleasantness.

Not keen either.

It's crunch time.

Either we go forward with this, which has no guarantee of us conceiving and is not going to be pleasant or comfortable.

Or we call a halt and focus on taking the adoption process forward.

A very wise friend of mine who is going through the same process, but who is not so far along it as us, has just offered me this advice:

"Try to picture how you will feel about the decision you make today looking back at it in ten years time".
The only possible solution this evening seems to be to eat fish stew and have a large glass of wine; which is what I am going to do.

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