Sunday, 13 March 2005

the pain and the glory

I have just introduced my Ma to the pleasures of ebay. She wants an electric potter's wheel and they are ridiculously expensive new ... so she sent me a text, asking if there were any on ebay.

Let me just go over that again:

  • A text
  • Asking about using ebay

I had to have a bit of a sit-down and a stiff drink before I replied, such was the shock.

However, she didn't want to set up her own account, in case the Unspecified Evil Internet Fraudsters steal all her money and/or her identity to use to deal drugs/porn/children and she doesn't quite grasp the ebay mechanism of deciding what your upper limit is and swooping in like a hawk during the last thirty seconds to secure your item.

Hence I have spent the last twenty five minutes on the phone having a conversation that went something like this:

Ma: What's it gone up to now?
Me: £265
Ma: Oh. Well. [sigh]. Perhaps we could put in £275?
Me: Ok. What about waiting a bit and then putting in something like £410.19 ... if you think it's worth that much?
Ma: Er. No, go on, put in £275
Me: Ok. Done. We're winning
[discussion about puppies and their toileting habits]
Ma: What's happening?
Me: You've been outbid. It's gone up to £310
Ma: Oh. [Pause]. Perhaps we could go up to £320?
Me: Okay ... done.
[discussion about who has recently died in the village]
Ma: What's happening?
Me: You've been outbid. It's gone up to £360
Ma: Oh. [Pause]. Perhaps we could go up to £370?
Me: Okay ... done.
[discussion about Aunt Edith's stolen accordian]

... and so on.
Eventually we were outbid at £425.

We are going to try again on another one a bit later on this evening.

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