I have a rant.
Please move on if you are a mortgage broker or an estate agent, or anyone with loved ones in either of those professions.
I have spent three weeks [voice goes all shrieky and shrill] THREE WEEKS discussing our mortgage requirements with someone at a well-known and apparently well-respected online specialist mortgage brokerage. During this period I have given her all the information she should require to tell me whether or not it is possible for her to arrange a mortgage for us.
- the properties we are looking at are semi-commercial ones
- we wish to buy in our own names, not the business
- we will need to self-certify as we do not have a sufficent period of audited accounts
- we have at most a 25% deposit
I have reiterated these things several times.
Today I was finally telephoned by the specialist-guy who deals with commercial mortgages, who was under the impression that he was simply taking a few details in order to finalise the application. However, he did not know any of the above things, and he also didn't know that we needed finance in place by Monday if we want to bid at the auction. When I went through all the details with him, he said it would be impossible to find a product to suit us, particularly given the short timescale.
Am I mad? Naive? Stupid?
These people have wasted three weeks of our time, made it impossible for us to go for a really good property that would be brilliant for us on Monday and have basically been stringing me along.
Also, the specialist-guy tried to bully me in to saying that we would be happy to take the mortgage out in the name of the company rather than personally.
I am not even going to start on the subject of the estate agent who said they'd get back to us about an offer we put in and haven't, despite three phone calls.
I am going to have a nice lie-down with some soothing wet newspaper over my face now and practice my alternate nostril breathing.