Sunday, 3 October 2004

fat elvis throws hysterics

We did a gig for an insurance company yesterday. They had decided that the best way to entertain and delight their staff was to ask for volunteers for a 'Stars In Their Eyes' mock-up and then ply everyone with so much alcohol that people would have to be stretchered out to the buses at the end of the event.

B was doing the lighting (no budget, silk purse, sows ear etc. etc.), R was operating the dry ice (R: "I've never done this before. Any advice?" B: "Yes. Don't put your head in the ice hopper.") and I was operating the follow-spot.

The performers were pretty much a nice crowd, who were largely doing it for laughs - we had a Tom Jones, a Shania Twain and Johnny Rotten, among others. The guy playing Elvis however, had a bad case of ego and endeared himself to no-one. To start with there appeared to have been a case of mistaken identity - he had neglected to specify which Elvis he actually wanted to be, apparently seeing himself more as early, guitar-toting star rather than the drug-raddled, burger-bloated King he more closely resembled. He then offended the dressmaker by telling her that the costume she had slaved over for him was 'tat' and that 'Elvis would never have worn it'.

Despite his hissy fit it was a fun event to crew and we whiled away the time between the end of our part of the show and starting the get-out by trying to guess which punters or potential stars had been the ones shagging in the toilets. "Tonight Matthew ... I am going to be ... falling down drunk and copulating with my co-workers in the gents lavatory".

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