When I lived in Wales, I was in the Yellow Pages under 'Complementary Therapists' - there was no section for 'Reiki' or 'Spiritual Healing', so I got quite a few wildly off the wall calls. The weirdest went like this:
Me: Hullo, Ally speaking.
Caller: (slighly tentative) Hullo. Do you do massage?
Me: (very professional, I can already see a number of ways this might go) No, sorry. I do energy work, reiki and spiritual healing. I can give you a number for a colleague of mine who does do aromatherapy and swedish massage though, if that's what you are looking for.
Caller: Oh. Only I am looking for someone who will iron me through a wet sheet.
Me: (tries not to laugh)
Caller: I used to visit a lady in Cwmbran who did it for me, but she's moved away.
Me: (still trying not to laugh)
Caller: Is that the sort of thing you'd be prepared to do?
Me: (successful in not laughing. professional voice back on again) No, I'm afraid it's not. I work OFF the body, in the energy field.
Caller: Do you know anyone who would?
Me: No, I don't think so.
Caller: Ok, thank you anyway.
Me: No problem. Thank you for calling. (hangs up phone and sits on floor giggling to self for ten minutes)