Me: Hello, I wonder if you can help? I am calling on behalf of a client, who is looking for courses on soap making.
Helpline advisor: Pardon me for asking, but has your client seen the film 'Fight Club'?
Part of my role at The Company That Cannot Be Named was 'Jobsearch Tutor'. The clue is in the name - I was supposed to teach people how to search for appropriate jobs, help them write letters and CVs and brush up on interview techniques. It also incidentally involved hints and tips on personal hygiene, dress and timekeeping.
Other favoured career paths for clients also included:
- Self employed mobile grocery sales person - client had unexpired driving ban and no experience as either grocer or, indeed, sales person of any kind
- Boat builder - Again, no experience, when we organised a weeks work experience for client, he didn't turn up.
- Chef - got client modern apprenticeship position, he failed to attend.