Keith used to get up quite early, long before Jan, and have a couple of cups of tea with a nip of rum in them. Sometimes more nip than tea.
One morning, as I was getting the car ready to go to work, I saw him coming down the path. At the time I had a very elderly metro that needed it's oil checking and topping up before nearly every journey.
Keith said hello and stood and watched me as I dipped the oil. Then, just as I was pouring the oil in to the engine, he struck up a conversation:
"Ally, Jan and I will miss you when you move up to your new house. I was wondering, if you like, I could give you a ring from the club one night when Jan has gone home early, and come up and see you, since you're not seeing anyone?"Clearly "see you" was a euphemism.
I was so shocked that I spilled a pint of oil all over the engine block. I muttered something about not thinking it was a good idea, got in to the car and reversed out of the drive really fast - thankfully, and unusually, the car started first time.
Half way to work the engine got hot enough for the oil I'd spilt to start to burn off and I pulled in to a layby to have hysterics. The lorry driver who rescued me clearly thought I was mad as a fish, but neverless helped me sort it out.
Motto: Never assume that because your neighbour is seventy five and you are thirty one and just splitting up with your partner that he isn't considering whether you would "see" him.